The Joyful Verb
You need to have one hobby, one focus, one daily practice that brings you joy. You need to have that one constant in your life that always brings recurring child-like mirth to your life.
For myself, this thing is fitness. For others, it may be thifting, running, traveling, writing, organizing, tennis, soccer, painting, drawing, singing, playing piano, guitar, etc., or any other hobbies. Those are just kind of the meta ones I could think of. Before I go deeper, I want to add this: consumerism is not joy. Yes, I mean shopping at Target for no reason and wasting money, online shopping, $8 coffees at Starbucks. Those things may bring you some kind of joy, but it’s a very temporary joy and it’s expensive. Also, what does it say about us that the only time we are happy is when we buy things? You want to get away from that. You really want to find something that brings exertion and self-improvement to your life. For many of you, this is reading. Reading is in the top three self-improvement activities of all time. For you consistent readers, stay at it. That is empowering.
You need a verb that makes you really feel good. A true joyful state of stability and clear-headedness that comes from said activity. I would say this should become your altar. Your place to unload the woes of the day and reunite with your individuality. When things get bad, you want to have this thing to run to and it make things ok. But… sorry, here’s another thing some of you will hate: this joyful focus cannot be another person. Some of you already know why I said this, and for you who disagree: guard your heart, kiddo. Other people, specifically significant others, are not reliable sources of joy. Yes, all of the whimsical Jane-Austen-esque feelings you get from love—I know. But if that person is gone? So is your joy, and that’s going to lead to really bad depression. Worse than normal. You need to find a joyful verb that belongs to you.
If and when things begin to crumble, you can run to the courts, the gym, the ivory keys, the strings, the pen, the side streets—and disappear in the action for a while. When the clutter in your head begins to amount, the joyful verb will melt enough of it down that your next step becomes clear. Focus on that one thing, and it will all come in due time.
