ON EMOTION AND THE EXPRESSION OF
To be human is to be an eternal expression of emotion. One could even go far enough to say that the human condition is an uphill battle against the invocation of emotion. A person’s value can be increased immensely if they master the control of emotion. The ancient Greeks philosophized about this through the practice of Stoicism. Google that if you need to know more - it’s very cool and worthwhile learning from a great guy named Marcus Aurelius.
In modern and past fiction, emotion is what separates the inanimate from the animate. I use those words metaphorically, because robots are technically animate but they are incapable of expressing emotion. Robots are made of mechanics—humans are made of chemicals, skin and bone. From emotion comes art; while AI can create art itself, it is merely based on a imitation of what humans have already created. If we had not created, AI would not be able to exist.
Emotion is something often thought to be the opposite of masculinity. Men are not encouraged to express emotion, but to master it. Women are encouraged to be emotional, and not really master it. There is a middle ground in between that can make us better, relatable people. Our strength and skill in collaboration with other human beings comes from our ability to master emotion. We know when to laugh, when not to laugh, when to speak, when to be spoken to.
Finding comfort in your emotional range is arguably the most important skillset for your own growth. There is a lot you can bypass and find success in through mastering your emotions. This is often labeled emotional maturity. Ever tried being in a romantic relationship with an emotionally immature person? Your life can face a reckoning, especially if you are married to this person. To the point: emotional maturity is not entirely common, but entirely a strength when one possesses it. The evolution to Self Actualization requires emotional maturity.
Becoming a parent forces you to either become substantially more emotionally mature, or be one of those garbage parents who yell at their kids in public. Your choice. I’ve personally growth substantially, but emotional intimacy is something I’ve had to really try to figure out. It’s been a struggle, but it’s the most important struggle when you have a daughter. I’m doing my best, and you should to.
A lack of comfort expressing emotion is why I stopped writing. To write poetry you must find vulnerability, especially when you allow others to comprehend it for themselves. To express your thoughts in writing for the judgment of others is vulnerability. Many associate this vulnerability with a critical weakness. What’s more critical, however, is that this may hold you back from an entirely different kind of life. Being able to find strength in vulnerability will allow you to experience things differently, and pursue more things.
A lot of my writing can come back kind of dark and—in my opinion—unrelatable. I have been wrong. The human condition includes internalized emotions, trauma, and altogether negative experiences. Through these experiences, we actually have far more in common with those who have also experienced it. If you’ve gone through a divorce, you almost know exactly the darkness someone else experienced that went through a divorce. I was listening to lyrics by the group Citizen, and a lot of their lyrics are negative. In their song I Forgive No One, the lyrics are very transparent about just being ok with not feeling the whole “forgive and forget” mantras that are often pushed. Some people have been through things at the hands of evil people, and they do not see forgiveness the same way most people do. If you don’t understand this, you probably have just been lucky to not go through that kind of experience.
Pushing to be entirely positive and optimistic is bullshit. Negativity is a part of life, just as much as love and healing is. You can "hate” someone in your own way and not necessarily feel it like others describe it. No, you don’t have to forgive someone who raped you, or the drunk driver who killed your child. And to go further, people also aren’t always “held back” by feeling these negative emotions. Time will heal the rifts that trauma creates, and you should not force yourself to exacerbate your journey with positivity bullshit. Feel the emotion, express it how you choose, and grow accordingly. Social media wants you to think you’re supposed to be vacations, wine and Mercedes Benz without a hint of negative experience. Striving to be that way will eventually lead to a major imbalance. You have to address the negativity, balance out the positivity, and figure it out for yourself.
Happiness is not a destination, nor is happiness a real thing. We present the concept of happiness as an absence of problems, but that does not exist for a human being. There are always problems, however small or large. Yes, having easier problems is closer to the concept of happiness, but that can change at any second. A car accident can leave you paralyzed, and you will need the resilience to handle what comes with that major life change. The person who has experienced real challenge will handle that significantly better than the silver platter person.
Figure it out. Or don’t. Your choice.
