IF WE MENTION DOPAMINE, WE HAVE TO MENTION ADDICTION

I try to be a little less wordy these days when I write. To mention the ever-present buzzword dopamine we also truly have to pair it with addiction.

I read a book recently, front to back, called “Dopamine Nation” by Anne Lembke, that really made a lot of sense to me. I know that controlling our dopamine is a major need for living a balanced life, and this book really gave the long-form research on the subject. I have to hear the science laid out for my brain to really believe there’s hope in practicing some kind of discipline. Being mindful and self-aware of where we are dumping our dopamine, and where our baseline is at is a crucial practice for someone who wants to have impulse control.

The book really was focused on addiction majorly. I was confused at first, but then the neural connection happened—we will ALWAYS become addicted to sources of dopamine rewards that are easy/low-effort, often cost-effective, and have a strong chemical response within our brains. This seems basic, but the perspective is understanding all the subtle addictions that are going on today. Addictions that people are entirely unaware of due to the lack of discussion around them. The effects on one’s health from these addictions may not be on par with alcoholism or drug addiction, but they can have long-term effects on many people.

For example, common subtle addictions can include sugar, carbs, buying things, picking up the iPhone, requiring some kind of romance in your life, caffeine, social media, etc. Sex addiction, or nymphomania, is something I’ve seen firsthand. In the dating world, dating apps are the nymphomaniac’s playground. They form quick, hyper-fixated attachments with people that result in sex typically within the first few days of meeting this person. I’ve seen this get so intense that these people begin to divulge little tells about their addiction to new and potential partners. I remember one girl telling me that I’d be the third-oldest person she had slept with. This was a conversation that began (and ended) within 24 hours. That kind of information is not something you’d typically share with a stranger whom you want to like you/impress/keep around, unless you are so calloused to sexuality that people truly become a number. I did tell her that it was kind of gross.

I also have known someone very personally for several years who has a subtle sex addiction. Hers is more partner-oriented, but the addiction aspect can be seen in her life all too well. Call it a reach if you want, but this also clicked for me that people who are not moving forward in their lives are being stifled by some kind of addiction. Because addiction is crazy common these days, as things are designed to do so. It is not normal to be aging and not achieving, or trying to. The attempt and effort are what matter more, as long as one does not quit striving. This person’s life progress is far below the baseline, unfortunately, containing no disciplines, no impulse control, no concern for health, a lack of interest in parenting, and is mostly spent lying in bed and scrolling on a phone. While there’s probably also social media addiction going on here, too, this person is highly motivated sexually and has always had a sexual partner. If you’re doubtful, I want to ask you this: how else do we explain adults who have no motivation to attain very basic milestones? How do we explain the obesity epidemic? What is the driver behind such a blatant disregard for one’s health? The answer is food addiction.

The most important piece is not to shame and judge addicts, but to understand that often it’s really not their fault. The brain will always choose the easiest, most convenient dopamine sources regardless of how it affects our overall survival chances. It majorly disorients our control over executive functions. Especially in the US, almost everything marketed to consumers is designed with addiction in mind. Social media, food, film/TV, beverages, video games, all the apps on your phone, etc. One must be very self-aware to be cautious enough to avoid the constant addiction landmines that are being thrown at our feet every time we walk out the door. Companies no longer ask you if you want to consume; they ask you how often you want to consume. And they’re getting even more bold—they are pushing us to consume on the throes of addiction. To have a life free of addiction in 2025 is to probably actually be unaware of something you’re subtly addicted to. We have become the product, and it takes an understanding of psychology to control who we are being sold to.

The solution is self-examination and planning for the future. You need a vision board of what you really want in the future to overcome addiction. You have to decide that your desire to achieve exceeds the desire for momentary pleasure. I love energy drinks, but they’re terrible for your teeth, skin, organs, cause inflammation, brain fog, etc. I can’t even have one, or it leads to a binge too often. Sounds like alcoholism? Because it’s the same science. You can—and do—get a high off of caffeine. It elicits a high dopamine response in our brain for a short time. It’s not as fun as alcohol, but it’s still addictive for that reason. This is why alcoholics will still call themselves alcoholics regardless of it being 15 years since their last drink; all it takes is one to become a landslide.

WHY IS DOPAMINE SO IMPORTANT? The usage of dopamine—our brain’s primary reward system—needs to be honed because we will not be motivated to do anything if our baseline is too high. Since opioids give our brain insane rewards, we don’t want to clean, wash our face, or take care of our children; those activities produce a tiny fraction of the reward from an easy hit. And those things require work, so our brain goes for opioids every time. Back before we had entertainment, this neural function was awesome. Our sources of dopamine were related to successfully surviving and eventually successfully achieving things. Our brains kind of screw us over in this way.

SO if we focus on being sure our rewards are received from productive activities and disciplines, our lives remain healthy. If we focus on doing things just for enjoyment all the time, we no longer want to live healthy lives. It's super simple: if your life is in disarray, I’d highly bet it’s from some kind of subtle addiction, or not so subtle addiction.